Kids’ Responses to Classic Halloween Candy
Charms Sour Ball: “I feel like I just mugged an old lady’s candy dish.”
Bit O’ Honey: “Oh dear lord, that shortcut through my neighbor’s hedges must have ben a time tunnel because apparently it’s 1974.”
Chiclets: “Have I wronged you in some way? Seriously, did I cause grievous harm to someone you love? Because I’m staring at this in my hand right now and all I can imagine going through your head right now is ‘Revenge.’”
Good ‘n Plenty: “Oh look! It’s the candy that looks like prescription medicine but tastes like…prescription medicine.”
Pixy Stix: “Do you have like a small mirror I can use to inhale this candy?”
Candy Corn: “I’m…I’m going to bed.”
What was your worst and/or favorite Halloween candy?
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Popcorn balls were probably the worst, because they were so disappointing. They look like such a great idea and then…bleah. Then again, maybe the lady four blocks down just made really shitty popcorn balls.
Those things that taste like root beer. Because they taste like root beer.
(Oh, perhaps I should specify that that’s a “worst” and not a “favorite.” I would think that would go without saying, but apparently some people find root beer to be not disgusting.)
Worst were the peanut butter taffy sort of things in the generic orange and black wrappers. They could pull your fillings out and taste awful to boot.
Worst? Necco wafers. Jesus, people, don’t even bother.
Favorite? Snickers. Just because.
as a kid I was allergic to chocolate so I liked some of the candies you listed, especially Bit-O-Honey and Good-n-Plenty. But candy corn is heinous. ick.
There was one house in my neighborhood who always gave out that big orange marshmallow in the shape of a peanut. I should have just had them over to our house to personally throw it in the garbage.
Smarties. Like Neccos, but even smaller, chalkier, and more pointless. And with my childhood allergies (Dairy, Eggs, Soy, Strawberries, Cherries, Blackberries, Oranges, Pineapple and Poultry) I could barely eat any of it save yellow and green skittles. The worst was that my birthday is on Halloween, so I would come home with bags of candy twice the size of my siblings, but then my parents would pick through and take out everything that would make me sick and I was left with very, very little. Off flavored laffy-taffys, smarties, skittles, dum-dums…. My parents made out like bandits, the assholes.
Those things that taste like root beer. Because they taste like root beer.
For me, that’s a favorite. (They’re called root beer barrels.)
And I *like* candy corn. And chocolate Neccos. And SmartTies.
Who in their right mind would like Snickers though?
I like candy corn and neccos too. I even like circus peanuts. And black licorice. (not good and plenty tho) My husband teases me a lot about liking the candy nobody else likes.
Oh, yes, black licorice … I forgot to mention that … (insert Homer-drooling sound here)
Your husband sounds like a loser. We should get married so we can share the candies we love. (Okay, maybe not …)
At least the Forths aren’t handing out sugar free candy and toothbrushes like John and Elly Patterson of “For Better or For Worse”; the message that sends is “We have no idea what children enjoy and are damned proud of it!!”
What about the people who hand out packaged crackers-and-peanut-butter?
Ha! Good ‘n’ Plenty! The prescription medicine description is apt.
At least no one in our neighborhood ever gave out those orange circus peanuts. I did know one kid whose house always had a dish of them out, though. You’d resist and resist, then finally eat one, knowing you would regret it… and then regret it.
I was the only kid I knew who liked coconut and hated nougat so at the post trick or treat candy swap I would trade all my snickers and milky ways for mounds and almond joys. Sadly there was no getting rid of the blow-pops or bit o’ honey.
Coconut? BLEAGH! FREAK!
I retract the last part of my previous reply.