Medium Large

The Catalog of Unfit Toys: Irish Rock’em Sock’em Robots

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on March 15, 2011

Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day! Watch the Guinness and blood flow in equal measure as these two glazed-eyed Gaelics fight each other in the name of…well, okay, that part remains a little fuzzy.

We’ve replaced the typical boxing arena with a cozy pub (your choice of “The Lacerated Lamb” or “The Immolated Terrier”) and exchanged the red and blue robots for the all-too-colorful Seamus and Other Seamus.

To start, simply select one of the three following rummy remarks: “More men have been inside your mum than in Trinity College,” “I wanted a go at your sister but Maureen Siobhan Mackenzie doubled her rates” or “It’s five o’clock! Who wants some?!” Then sit back and enjoy as the soused Seamuses go at it with the ferocity of a heavyweight fighter and the accuracy of a blind, palsy archer. After several minutes of mercilessly and mistakenly pummeling walls, stools, soccer memorabilia and a wholly startled Father Seamus O’Reilly, the Celtic cutups will break into tears, embrace, cry out “Jesus, what are we fighting for?!” and order a round of drinks for the house, all while singing that beloved Irish ballad, “Christ, I’m So Hungry I Could Eat My Own Feet But Then I Couldn’t Outrun The Rats.”

Also Available: Italian Double Trouble, complete with one unlicensed Berreta and an extra-long mailbag for “storage.”

See More at The Catalog for Unfit Toys.

Other Links:
The Original Cats Quote Charlie Sheen
Excerpts from “I Could Pee on This” and Other Poems by Cats
The Worst-Selling Books of the Year (So Far)
Cats Quote Charlie Sheen: The 20/20 Interview
Quotes from Lesser Transformers

Follow on Twitter @fmarciuliano
Follow on Facebook

One Response

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. lpydmblb said, on March 15, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Boy you really do have an animus against my tribe. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course; I’ll just assume that you were treated to a shower of Irish Confetti at some point.

    Now that we have an African American President, it is conceivable that the Irish and Italians will one day come to accept each other. After all, as Jack Donaghy once pointed out to his brother, “Come on, we’re Irish. We’re a forgiving people.”

    Well, then again, maybe not.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: