Medium Large

Notes from Ann Coulter’s Book Editor

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on March 19, 2011

In light of Ann Coulter’s recent comment concerning Japan that radiation is actually good for you, Medium Large has obtained the following leaked copy of notes from Ms. Coulter’s book editor.

Dear Ann:

* Please do not spell things phonetically. You clearly mispronounce a lot of words.

* Never start a sentence with “and,” “but” or your crush on Timothy McVeigh.

* You have a tendency to write awkward sentences when working with concepts unfamiliar to you, such as American history.

* Although 780 endnotes is indeed impressive, almost all of yours seem to cite dreams, overheard bus conversations and blackface vaudevillian routines.

* Considering his death, perhaps it’s best if you rephrase “I want to blow Ronald Reagan” in the past tense.

* Please check to ensure that each sentence has a subject and a verb, not simply a target and a racial slur.

* Introductory elements of a sentence typically tend to establish either time or condition, not the author’s overwhelming insecurity or need to avenge third-grade taunts.

* Keep your sentences simple, not your thoughts.

* The word “God” does not appear in the U.S. Constitution. Neither does the word “genocide.”

* If you consult our publishing house’s manual of style you’ll notice that we frown on printing white text on white paper, despite your crippling fear of all things black.

* Contrary to your impassioned statements, James G. Watt’s environmental policies did not, in fact, bring back the unicorn.

Other Links:
Excerpts from “I Could Pee on This” and Other Poems by Cats
My Upcoming Coffee Table Books
The Worst-Selling Books of the Year (So Far)
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14 Responses

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  1. Tim said, on March 20, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Wow. I used to think you were funny.

    • cesco7 said, on March 20, 2011 at 6:36 pm

      I completely understand that this is not for everyone. But I do appreciate you taking the time to visit the site. Thank you.

  2. Dr. Shrinker said, on March 20, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    How dare you attack such a delicate flower? I’m sure she’s collapsed on her fainting couch, with a terrible case of the vapors!

  3. Andy said, on March 21, 2011 at 3:12 am

    I bet this isn’t even comedy. You intercepted the actual emails, didn’t you?

  4. pq said, on March 21, 2011 at 8:40 am

    oh. my. god. i never thought I’d consider Bill O’Reilly the voice of reason in an argument. There goes Hell freezing over.

  5. Vince said, on March 21, 2011 at 9:33 am

    Sure, you laugh now, but when the Fifty-Foot Coulter starts ravaging the countryside…

  6. Gen Crane said, on March 21, 2011 at 10:33 am

    It is more likely:
    Dear Ms. Coulter;
    People buy your books regardless, so I thumbed through, didn’t see any crayon, and loathe to actually read your paranoid ravings passed it on through. It should hit stores in time for Christmas. Keep up the good crazy.
    Your soulless publisher

    • Gen Crane said, on March 21, 2011 at 10:35 am

      And I totally thought that was a scene from Buffy the first time I saw the pic. Nice.

  7. Piraro said, on March 21, 2011 at 11:50 am

    Your brilliance continues to thrill me. I love this post.

  8. bee said, on March 21, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    This would have been great, but rape jokes. 😐

  9. Chaim Mattis Keller said, on March 21, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Written like someone who’s never actually read her books. You don’t have to agree with her, but they are at least coherent, well written, and yes, the footnotes reference genuine sources.

  10. harald said, on March 22, 2011 at 11:33 am

    Pfff. Who wants to read them anyways? Who will, now that Medium Large has provided a perfect summation of all things Coulter in one blog entry? My favorite bit was the “crippling fear of all things black.”

  11. David Kirkpatrick said, on March 24, 2011 at 11:11 am

    What? No references to Lizard Queen?

  12. MiaMichaels said, on July 2, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Her personal attack of a disabled veteran, homosexuals, Blacks and anyone that does not support her delusional rhetoric goes far beyond one’s personal political beliefs and moves directly into the sphere of mental incapacitation and more.The character of a person is shown through his or her personality, the way in which an individual thinks, feels, and behaves. Ann Coulter’s behavior is inflexible, maladaptive, and antisocial, which reveals who she is through her personality. Her persception of reailty and how she fits into the world is distorted at best!
    Why do we continue to support a RACIST??


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