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Medium Large Comic: Deleted Scenes from “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 21, 2011

In the original trilogy that is the first three Peanuts TV holiday specials, the absolutely wonderful A Charlie Brown Christmas is its Star Wars, the peerless It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is its The Empire Strikes Back and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving is the Return of the Jedi in chronological order as well as achievement. Still, the latter cartoon is an absolute treat and we at Medium Large are proud to share some deleted scenes from that truly classic holiday cartoon.




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Get Through Holidays Yes Number Six Elephant Wicker

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 19, 2011


Like most people (I tell myself), I Google my name or work from time to time, often in reference to Sally Forth. And while doing so allows me to find out who wants to shoot me in the head (as I learned a few weeks ago), it also let’s me catch up on a growing societal concern–What if WordPress blogs become self aware and started writing their own content?

And so it is I came across the following post, no doubt written by a now sentient WordPress blog and supposedly about my strip, titled “Get Through The Holidays…” As you can see, like many a being first learning to communicate the living blog Psychological Counseling seems to be using words at random, as if sheer sound could convey meaning. And yes, the post does indeed fall far, far short of the indisputable sheer poetry and narrative brilliance of
Sally Forth as Written by a Japanese School Girl. But one cannot argue that the blog in question is apparently somewhat aware of the current Sally Forth story, can evenly space paragraphs, and knows how to address holiday stress, the comics page and the importance of reasonably price timepieces all at once.

The holidays are coming fast. Family and friends of the door frame. Yet, holiday, sometimes the fact that we are not going to be happy. We are reminded of family feuds, lost friends, other painful things. There are ways to overcome the holidays without a depressed?

Let me start with a comic note, a play on words. Sally Forth, in the comic of the same name, is currently struggling on the management of Thanksgiving. It is surrounded by inviting her stepmother and mother domineering and insensitive much younger boyfriend in the event. So far, Sally has decided not to invite her younger sister, flaky, which happens to be going back to Sally and pig patronizing former boss. Stay tuned for what happens next!

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Medium Large’s Illustrated and Admittedly Incomplete History of the Turducken

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 18, 2011

Thanksgiving Day is a holiday full of traditions, from seeing the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade to inviting as many relatives as possible over to your house just to see how many arguments, accusations and spoonfuls of cranberry dressing you can have flying over a dinner table at once.

But one relatively new Thanksgiving Day tradition has baffled many over the years. And so in the hopes of educating as well as whatever the other thing it is we do here, we at Medium Large will now explain the mystery, the magic and the unholy mess that is the turducken.


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Ted Forth’s Guide to Thanksgiving Dinner

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 18, 2011


Although his cooking segment was bumped from Today, Good Morning America and that program that’s rumored to be on the air at the same time on CBS, official Grillmaster (and recovering Lego Maniac) Ted Forth is here to tell you all you need to know about making Thanksgiving dinner…minus the ingredients and a recipe.

* Should you wake up Thanksgiving morning to find your turkey is still frozen, try to mask your uncontrollable sobbing by quickly shoving your face into a bowl of flour. Remain in bowl until family awkwardly steps away.

* The night before Thanksgiving set out all necessary ingredients on the kitchen table and then leave the front door wide open, confident in the belief that if elves can make shoes then they can certainly prepare sausage stuffing.

* Try not to respond to every culinary suggestion with “Or we could just settle this outside.”

* If during dinner one of your guests wonders aloud why there isn’t any gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, vegetables, bread, pumpkin pie or napkins, look at them square in the eye with an accusatory glance and say, “I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Keep saying this, louder and louder as you stand taller and taller until they either flee the table or meekly compliment you on your turkey breast sandwiches and Pixie Stix.

* For every food task completed reward yourself with a glass of wine. Continue until you’re either the life of the party or you find yourself at your neighbor’s house, telling their umbrella stand to go fuck itself.

* Remember, nothing is so tense during holiday food preparation that it can’t be upped hundredfold with the comment, “You know I’m a vegan now, right?”

* When in doubt substitute with Oreos.

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20 Rejected Thanksgiving Day Cards

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 18, 2011

Before you say “Grace” at dinner, say what you really feel with one of these Thanksgiving Day cards.



For all the Rejected Thanksgiving Day Cards please go to Smosh.com. Thanks!

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Medium Large Comic: Thursday, November 17, 2011

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 17, 2011


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How to Enjoy or at Least Endure Thanksgiving Dinner with Your Family

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 17, 2011

It’s hard to find fault with the Thanksgiving workweek. Barring any Dickensian employment practices at your office, you can count on spending three days at work and two days far, far away from your cubicle. Not too shabby…that is, when taken at face value. But like any corporate accountant will tell you, just because the final tally seems pleasing doesn’t mean the numbers actually add up. After all, most of us will be celebrating the rather arbitrary anniversary of the first breaking of bread in the New World with our families. So in fact those two vacation days will be spent in the company of your folks, meaning the supposed “holiday week” will actually be comprised of five solid days of labor, some physical, most emotional (seven days if your flight out doesn’t leave until Sunday).

But don’t worry. Simply take a deep breath and then take heed of the following tips for a tolerable turkey day. I can’t promise you’ll be walking on sunshine by day’s end but we can be reasonably certain you won’t be willingly walking into oncoming traffic either, and that has got to be a step up from last year.

• Sit at the children’s table: The kids’ dinnertime conversations may be less than engaging, their food will constantly be in mid-air and, let’s face it, children are never in a position to float you a crucial sum of cash. But when was the last time a five-year-old turned to you and said, “Well, well, well. Hung over and a vegetarian to boot on what may very well be your grandmother’s last Thanksgiving meal. My, isn’t that so…now.”

• Bring a friend: Many people invite a friend to their family’s Thanksgiving meal with the belief that their parents are far less likely to critique you in front of someone they don’t readily have dirt on. Nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, cutting comments once phrased directly to you will now be delivered as an series of endless Trivial Pursuit questions to your unsuspecting, increasingly uncomfortable guest: “What do you think of a daughter who never calls?” “How come he can’t come on weekends and help his 68-year-old father with the leaves?” “Did you know when he was little he was terrified of the color yellow and would burst into tears upon seeing a lemon?” While such an experience will seem initially mortifying (and ultimately scarring), just keep focusing on the big picture. After all, the next time you find yourself ranting on and on to friends about your meshugenah parents—like the Friday immediately following Thanksgiving—your invited pal will be right behind you the whole time, saying, “Believe me, everything he said is the God’s honest truth.” Of course, the downside is that while you’re looking at all the relatives gathered around the holiday feast thinking, “Jesus, how on earth could I be related to all these nut jobs?” your guest is looking around thinking, “Ah, now it all makes sense.”

• Show up sporting at least one radical cosmetic change: In military camps and NRA-supporter households this is known as the “draw away the line of fire” approach. Rather than leave yourself open to the usual round of family remarks—knocking your career direction, love life, weight loss or gain, lackluster demeanor, questionable social habits, unique attire, poor posture, political beliefs, religious doubts, nervous habits, choice of car, inability to call, intolerance of racial jokes, inadvertent sighing, indefinite time spent watching the TV rather than talking to family, indefinite time spent in the bathroom rather than talking to family, indefinite time spent puttering around in the garage/yard/crawl space behind the living room wall rather than talking to family, refusal to offer any personal information about yourself, refusal to offer any personal information about your siblings, refusal to offer any personal information about the in-laws, cut or absence of hair, skin condition, proclivity to bite your lower lip until it bleeds while listening to your mom praise Rush Limbaugh, acute and indefensible sensitivity to questions concerning your self-worth, mistaking “guilt trip” for “caring for one’s child”—immediately draw your parents’ attention to one specific, wholly inescapable topic of conversation on your part…and your body. Like a face tattoo. Or pierced lip. Sure a new hair color may raise eyebrows and breast implants may provoke the most awkward stares in the family’s history but if you really want to avoid talking about anything else in your life this Thanksgiving, you’re going to have to go for broke. You may not necessarily want to spend the rest of your life sporting the word “Sex Toy” spelled out in rhinestone studs on the back of your neck, but do you honestly want to talk to your mom about your bowel movements? In short, sometimes the end—no matter how excessive or unresponsive to corrective surgery—does indeed justify the means.

• Go easy on your folks: The truth of the matter is, your parents are just as uncomfortable around you as you are around them. Let’s look at it from a business perspective: Imagine while walking down the street (or, if you live in the suburbs, while walking out of a Dunkin Donuts) you suddenly bump into your boss from a previous job. After exchanging initial pleasantries and professional updates, you both find yourselves with absolutely nothing to say. Why? Because your relationship was never based on the easy conversational give-and-take of an actual friendship. Rather, it was built upon an understanding of authority that dictated your daily exchanges and interactions. But with no set rules to now guide your conversation, you would have better luck chatting up a lilac bush or Bengal tiger. At least the talking points would be crystal clear (“Nice bloom you got there” and “Don’t puncture the aorta! For the love of God, don’t puncture the aorta!!!”). So it goes with parents and their grown children. With no one the obvious leader and no one the follower, no one knows how to act when they get together. So while you hope this year your parents finally give you a break, make sure to cut them a little slack, too. If your folks want to say grace before dinner, close your eyes, clasp your hands and quietly recall The Simpsons episode in which Homer gets out of work by saying he’s celebrating “The Feast of Maximum Occupancy.” If they want to go around the table and have each person say what they are thankful for this holiday season, kindly respond with something innocuous such as “Times like these” (rather than just blurt out “Paxil!”). But remember, just because you’re in a giving mood doesn’t mean you should hand over a blank check for your parents to cash in on any insane request they see fit. To put it another way, don’t feel obliged to close out the Thanksgiving feast by entertaining relatives with your once-annual childhood performance of “Turkey in the Straw.” After all, at age five seeking your folks’ attention and/or approval is perfectly normal. At age 35, it’s textbook pathological. Keep in mind the difference and you’ll do just fine.

• Don’t overstay your welcome: Each one of us has found ourselves on the phone with a friend or business associate only to hear them say, “Well, I better let you go,” knowing full well that what they actually mean is “Well, I’ve had enough of this. Bye.” The same logic applies here. When we say, “Don’t overstay your welcome” what we clearly mean is “Leave before it’s a murder-suicide and you’re the one reloading.” In other words, phrase your desperate escape to freedom as a thoughtful concern regarding your parents’ valuable time. For example, “Mom, Dad, this has been terrific. But surely you two want to spend some time alone together.” However, as with all selfish desires disguised as acts of civility, timing is paramount. Don’t blurt out your farewells the moment it comes time to clear the table. Don’t say it immediately after a quick perusal of the deserts finds the selection wanting. And don’t say your good-byes from the cell phone in the car as the rest of the family is still sitting at the table, wondering why it’s taking you so long you to find a second gravy ladle in the kitchen. Be patient. The right moment will present itself, usually in the form of a question like “So, do you want to spend the night on the couch in the basement or on a cot in the room with Grandma? Either way, remember, we’re all up at three tomorrow morning to go shopping!” That’s when you take the coat you had draped over your dinner chair the whole time, bid your fond farewells to parents and relatives alike and quickly run to a waiting taxi, making sure to grab a “to go” turkey leg on the way out. It may not be the most thoughtful exit, but what it lacks in sentiment it will more than make up for in conversational fodder for your parents’ next Thanksgiving—and trust us, that’s the best present you could ever hope to give them this holiday season.

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How NOT to Overthrow the World

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 17, 2011

We’ve seen supervillains fail to overthrow the world again and again in the movies. And why? Because they keep trying the following plans, which only ever result in pouting, not power.

To see everything you might have done wrong in your quest for domination, go to Smosh.com. Thanks!

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Medium Large Comic: Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 16, 2011


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6 Rejected MTV Reality Shows

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 16, 2011

Despite countless evidence to the contrary, there are reality shows that even MTV thought were not suitable for air. Here are just a few…

For the full list of pulled pilots, please go to Smosh.com. Thank you!

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