20 Public Service Ads In Case Of Alien Invasion

While we may not have the firepower to fight off an alien invasion, at least we’ll have posters everywhere telling us how we’re screwed.

For all your extraterrestrial emergency info, please go to Smosh. Thanks!

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If I Were to Win the Mega Millions Jackpot

In case you haven’t heard, the Mega Millions lottery is now at its biggest jackpot ever. Naturally, this has led all news outlets to ask random people on the street what they would do if they were to win more money than God (who is currently behind Carlos Slim, J.K. Rowling, and Scrooge McDuck as the richest entity in the universe). And so since it’s only a matter of time before I’m asked given my habit of wandering the streets of NYC aimlessly in search of anything resembling even the briefest human contact, here are my plans should I win a lottery for which I haven’t bought a ticket.

1. Immediately disavow any promised acts of largesse made to family and friends that began with the phrase “If I ever win the lottery…”

2. Quit current job. Commence new career as “Mercurial Dilettante.”

3. See if money can indeed buy class by diamond-encrusting every limb.

4. Build three extra stories on garage. Purchase hovercrafts.

5. Find out just how often one can silence a room by immolating a Vermeer.

6. Prove to neighbors you’re willing to fight “fire with fire” by replacing lawn gnomes with collection of working 18th century Spanish galleon canons.

7. Set up diverse investment portfolio with half the winnings put in robot butlers and the other half in revenge.

8. Begin a lengthy series of cosmetic surgeries all in hope of one day resembling the Silver Surfer.

9. Buy company out from under employer. Fire everyone. Spend workdays stealing office supplies without fear of reprisal.

10. Start construction on personal Death Star. After taxes scale back project to a beach ball filled with arsenic.

11. Realize that if one lottery ticket can win you $540 million, just think how much 540 million lottery tickets can win you.

12. Purchase house with retractable roof to let in sun, Harrier jet.

13. Always be able to answer the question “Do you wanna rock?!” by implanting Fender guitar and amp in chest.

14. Buy local Arena Football team. Buy charging rhinos. Create new sport with one-week season.

15. Clone self. Engage in lengthy court battle to see which one is the rightful lottery winner.

What would you do?

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Medium Large Comic: Thursday, March 29, 2012

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Least Inspiring Discovery Channel Nature Series

Sure, the Discovery Channel is enjoying huge audiences and critical raves for its new nature series “Frozen Planet.” But for every hit documentary the network shows, there are several that failed to generate even a single remark on Twitter.

From hibernating bears to “Squirrel Week,” read all about Discover Channel’s unsuccessful programming at Smosh. Thanks!

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The Least Threatening Movie Creatures Of All Time

Some movie monsters induce bloodcurdling screams, abject terror, and ghastly nightmares. Then there are the following that just induce pity and concerns about the prop department…

For all the scariest creatures to be hastily assembled for film, please go to Smosh. Thanks!

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Medium Large Comic: Wednesday, March 28, 2012

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The 7 Types Of Action Films

Every action movie seems to involve a hero facing countless obstacles, getting into numerous fights, and being portrayed by an actor well into his 60’s who really should have moved on to prestige films or maybe plays by now. But in truth there are many different types of action movie genres, all with their own defining features, dialogue, and budget fiascos…

For every action film you are bound to see for the rest of your life, head on over to Smosh. Thanks!

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Medium Large Comic: Tuesday, March 27, 2012

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6 Worst Super Powers To Have

People are always talking about how cool, how convenient, and how commercially viable it would be to have special powers. But few realize that with great power comes a great deal of headaches that will only make you wish you never took that “radiation challenge” on YouTube.

For all the superheroic abilities that will completely ruin your life, please go to Smosh. Thanks!

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Medium Large Comic: Monday, March 26, 2012

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