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He’s the Man: On Accidentally Watching The Six Million Dollar Man

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on November 5, 2017

Every so often—whether because it’s been a hectic day, the news just continues to get worse with each tweet or simply because we just want to—Stacey and I will watch old Columbo episodes on Cozi TV. (Which can best be described as a rerun channel for aging Gen Xers who think those teens outside are up to no good.)

Sometimes we will tune in a few minutes early and accidentally catch the end of The Six Million Dollar Man. (A show I have previously mentioned I loved as a kid.) Now, I assumed the closing credits music to the show were always a simple replay/reworking of the opening theme music. But not so, as last night we caught the end to the 1973 television pilot movie Wine, Women & War: The Six Million Dollar Man Story, which is not only without a doubt the greatest worst alliterative title for anything everywhere—unless they are currently working on the script for Spongebob Squarepants Salò—but also an absolutely bizarre attempt at piggybacking on the success of James Bonds movies, especially for something that would turn into a series about slow-motion camerawork and turtleneck/blazer combos. (Editor/Writer/My Note: Yes, we watched an old Columbo episode—well two—on a Saturday night. But one of them starred Leonard Nimoy and the other Laurence Harvey. Plus, we went out Thursday and Friday night, though. Wow, this is oddly defensive.)

And that very not-quite Bond-feel carried over to end credit sequence, as we were fortunate enough to listen to of all people the great Dusty Springfield give a full-out 70s white funk as she belted out “He’s the Man,” a song penned by Glen A. Larson, known for creating a whole host of 70s TV programming including Battlestar Galactica, Magnum P.I., Quincy M.E., Knight Rider, and Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, starring Gil Gerard, who my friend Sean Lynch once described as “When you wanted Lee Majors at rockbottom prices.” Not only that, but during my research (that word had such nobility once) I learned it was also the opening credit music, which is a far more appropriate Bond homage/lift.

So enjoy and let the magic wash over you as Colonel Steve Austin runs towards in direct violation of the edict “Don’t accidentally parody your own hero.”

And since the closing credit version will remind you of it anyway…

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3 Responses

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  1. caffeinatedjoe said, on November 5, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    I have 22 Columbo episodes on my DVR. Not sure why I wanted to tell you, but I am telling you.

  2. Cat Wisdom 101 (@catwisdom101) said, on November 5, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    I’d almost forgotten I’d met Lee Majors on a film set. A film so bad, it’s not on his IMDB but just Googled the director (I was dating at the time) to confirm it wasn’t my imagination and saw the film poster. The synopsis sounds oddly timely.

  3. oldskool said, on November 6, 2017 at 7:23 pm

    Add me to the list of folks who’ve also been binge-watching the immortal Columbo! Bar none, I know of no tv show that’s aged as well. The timing is classic but never lags -we actually get to SEE the action, not just a blur/montage to imply what just happened. His wit and warmth seems even more genuine now, when compared to modern smarm. And, most notably with the episode starring the amazing Janet Leigh, most episodes will surprise you, even though you SAW the crime committed from the start! We just finished “A Case of Immunity”, one of the few that’s aged badly with a fake Arab nation that was painful…. But since we had to go as far as 5th season for any real cringe….

    Um, oh, yeah, LOVED the SMDM as a kid -especially ANY episodes with Bigfoot! Still love the rolling tunnel!


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