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Starlee and the Moonbeams: The Lost Episode

Posted in Uncategorized by cesco7 on July 15, 2018

Starlee and the Moonbeams
Episode S04E24: “Rock, Scientific Papers, and Scissor Kicks” (Unaired Series Finale)

Episode Synopsis: Uh, pretty much everything said. Plus, a subplot about “Starlee’s Saved Ones,” an orphanage run by the band where kids can learn musical skills and Krav Maga while hurtling on a comet because there isn’t enough room for the children on Starlee’s spaceship The Island Universe.

Reason Episode Never Aired: Syndication network partners demanded the addition of a “happy ending” as well as voice-over narration to make it easier for viewers to follow the plot’s rather Byzantine complexity. Series’ creators demanded that blood could spurt that far depending on how you approach the jugular. Creative standstill led to episode never being aired first-run, in later syndication packages, or in the 2002-released DVD collection Starlee and the Moonbeams—Greatest Hits, Kicks, and Stabs.

Series Synopsis: American animated television series that ran from 1986 to 1989 on first-run syndication. The series focused an all-woman intergalactic punk band, with each episode featuring two original songs by the Moonbeams and one better one by the group’s major nemesis the Darkstars—led by Carina—as well as the occasional dance-off that inevitable resulted in brutal hand-to head combat. Each member of the Moonbeams had a specific science degree, codename, and an instrument that could be quickly employed as a deadly weapon or detonation device, which were used on missions as they travelled the cosmos in their ship “The Island Universe” helping all the people of the galaxy while not battling either the Darkstars for musical recognition and high-grade, highly unstable plutonium or Starlee’s unscrupulous former (and Darkstars’ current) manager Ray Ricmond, (whose hemorrhaging in the finale was one of many reasons that episode never made it to air).

Band Members:
Starlee—Lead Singer/Guitarist. Degree: Astrophysics. Weapon: Rickenbacker Samurai Sword/Musical throwing Stars/Pulse cannon earrings.
Aurora—Lead Guitarist/Backing Vocals. Degree: Geomorphology. Weapon: Heavy-Gauge .020 Electric Guitar Garrote Strings.
Jova—Bass Guitarist/Backing Vocals. Degree: Astrobiology. Weapon: Bass Multi-Effects Sonic Blaster/EMP Processor.
Proxima—Drummer/Backing Vocals. Degree: Exploration Systems Design. Weapon: Nunchuck Drumsticks.

Voices: Karla Philips (speaking/singing voice); Various other voice actors who failed to negotiate getting screen credit.

Production Companies: Filmation/Ruby-Spears/Toei Animation/DiC Entertainment/Sunbow Entertainment/Hanna-Barbera Productions/Film Roman

Number of Seasons/Episodes: Four seasons/96 episodes (95 aired)

Holiday Special: “Starlee and the Moonbeams: I Saw Three Starships (Come Crashing In)”

Starlee Doll—Recalled because doll replicated characters fireball-shooting fingers by attaching matchbook striking surfaces to each hand.
Carina Doll—Recalled because doll’s evil laugh was both unplanned and unstoppable.
The TestaRosetta Stone—Starlee’s car covered in alien hieroglyphics. Recalled because it went 92 mph backwards the moment you opened the box.
Lonely Sun god Ra-Ra—Recalled because when turned on it burned through tabletops, flooring, and the earth’s crust.
The Island Universe—Starlee and the Moonbeams’ spaceship. Recalled after a small child fired one of its missiles only for it to go straight through a nearby Vermeer painting.
Lunatick—Space creature. Recalled because it was filled with almost a gallon of unrefrigerated pasta sauce to simulate sucked blood.

Recognition/Awards: Cited 147 times by Action for Children’s Television for excessive violence and encouraging young viewers to bash each other’s skulls in with whatever musical instrument or simply untethered item was handy.


4 Responses

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  1. Naked Bunny with a Whip said, on July 15, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    Man, this sounds way better than the shows that were actually on back then.

    • cesco7 said, on July 15, 2018 at 5:46 pm

      Hahaha! Thank you very much!

  2. Bill said, on July 15, 2018 at 12:39 pm

    This was awesome and on a side note, it wasn’t lost on me that Sally and Marilynn are cosplaying characters that…don’t look like them, but spoke to them anyway. I hope that didn’t sound stupid, but just know I’ve enjoyed this arc a lot.

    • cesco7 said, on July 15, 2018 at 5:47 pm

      Your comment actually made me very happy. Thank you, Bill. 🙂

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