Thanks to all the tremendous support from readers, booksellers, and you for I Could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats, dogs of all breeds, sizes, and degrees of fascination with your shoes finally have their own literary say in I Could Chew on This and Other Poems by Dogs. Divided into four distinct sections and made possible due to an unprecedented and unaccredited writing program, this revealing and rhythmic tome lets dogs everywhere at long last expose their true inner lives. From their rich experiences indoors to a wealth of wisdom gathered outside, their unbreakable bonds with their owners to the way their hearts shatter whenever they’re placed inside a purse, the enclosed verses will open your eyes to why dogs keep sniffing, why dogs keep running, and why dogs keep staring at you until you just break down and reveal state secrets you never even knew you had. So pick up a copy, sit down with your furry best friend, and read until your dog drops a ball in your lap, indicating the book club has come to an end for the day.
Questions for Francesco Marciuliano (“Marciuliani” if there’s more than one):
Really? Now it’s dog poems?
I think we can all agree it’s only fair that if cats can have their say in verse then dogs should certainly not only have the opportunity to share their thoughts in poetic form but also secure their own literary contract and ISBN number. Otherwise, you would just have your cat walking around your house, constantly checking and rechecking their book’s sale stats on their smartphone in an increasingly neurotic and narcissistic fashion while your dog would be quietly hunched over their laptop in a nearby Starbucks, supposedly working on that screenplay they keep going on and on about with the logline “Friday Night Lights meets Puppy Bowl without that damn kitten halftime show and hedgehog cheerleaders” but in reality just spending most of their time trying to extract their nose from some stranger’s Frappuccino cup.
Who is the book dedicated to?
The book is dedicated to the memory of my family’s dog Panda (but usually referred to as “Panda Puppy”), whose incredible love, intelligence, playfulness, and absolute adorable presence we were lucky to experience for 17 wonderful years. Panda was adopted from The North Shore Animal League, the largest no-kill animal rescue and adoption organization in the world and which like so many such shelters can always use your support. To the right you can see Panda photographed just as she is licking her nose, having stood patient for so long that it was either going to be a tongue move or one giant yawn. You can also, alas, see me–complete in a Seinfeld-esque Gap shirt, light blue jeans, and a barely visible dangling peace symbol earring–in a picture that could not scream “1991” louder if I were wearing a Spin Doctors t-shirt.
What’s the difference between dog and cat poets?
Cats are quietly reflectively, almost to the point that if you didn’t pay close enough attention you really wouldn’t know what they were thinking until you found them hanging upside down from your window screen by one claw practically screaming, “I’m living life, Ma! I’m living life!!!” Dogs, however, are far more vocal, far more publicly emphatic in their thoughts, practically wearing their hearts on the sleeve of that poncho you make them wear whenever you walk them in the rain. And that difference shows up in their poetry, so whereas cat verse lets you in on a secret, dog verse is exuberant in sharing why, how, and at what property value they completely lost their mind when you left the house for what seemed like to them either five minutes or fifteen years.
Is this your first dog book?
It is my first published dog book. Unfortunately my proposal for a dog coffee table book–titled Doggy! Doggy Doggy Doggy Doggy Doggy Doggy Doggy Doggy Doggy Doggy DOGGY!–proved a little too, well, enthusiastic for publishers, especially since it looked many of the dogs in the book really wished I would just stop jumping up and down with glee and pointing at them. My other coffee table book submission–Dogs That Secured Small Business Loans–also did not fare well, even though it gave puppies step-by-step instructions on refinancing, targeting their customer base, and why they should never chew or bury their receipts.
I have a dog! Can I show you pictures of my dog?
Of course! Just send a photo of your scholarly and sophisticated dog reading the book to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will post it on this page, on the home page, in Facebook, and through Twitter. I would really appreciate it if you could post your photo through the customer share link at the the I Could Chew on This Amazon page.
How does it feel to have the book cover read “Author of The New York Times Bestselling Book I Could Pee on This“?
It’s my legacy. It’s my epitaph. It will be the ongoing burden for any offspring I may have one day.